Parents

It doesn't seem like a year ago I posted a blog dedicated to my father for his birthday, but it was!

Again its my fathers birthday and I want to share my love and appreciation for him.

Over the past few weeks alone my Dad has really touched me and Danielle with his love. Just the other day my mum told me that my Dad suggested visiting us to help us work on the bus. He also said he would sleep on the floor or camp in the garden (as we have no furniture left after throwing it all out) until the van was completed.
This deeply touched me and Danielle.

My parents would give us (me, my brother and sister) the skin off their backs if we needed it, they are so selfless.

I heard a teaching from the great Zen Master Thich Nhat Hahn about parenting. He used an analogy of growing lettuce. He shared that at Plum Village (the conscious Buddhist community he started in France) he grows lettuce, and he is responsible for the way the lettuce grows. If for any reason the lettuce didn't grow right, it would be crazy to shout and scream and blame the lettuce. If one shouts at the lettuce and blames the lettuce and neglects the lettuce, the lettuce with wither and die.
So it is so important that a parent nourishes the child with patience, love and kindness.

I share this because my parents have done this for me, and they still do and I am a father and a husband now.
There have been times when my parents have visited me and when we have been having a conversation I have noticed that they may not agree with what I am saying, yet they listen with love an patience. By doing this they lead me by their example.

I notice it straight away sometimes, and other times I will get it days later when I meditate.

I want to share a story, again from Thich Nhat Hahn that is very powerful.

“The day my mother died I wrote in my journal, "A serious misfortune of my life has arrived." I suffered for more than one year after the passing away of my mother. But one night, in the highlands of Vietnam, I was sleeping in the hut in my hermitage. I dreamed of my mother. I saw myself sitting with her, and we were having a wonderful talk. She looked young and beautiful, her hair flowing down. It was so pleasant to sit there and talk to her as if she had never died. When I woke up it was about two in the morning, and I felt very strongly that I had never lost my mother. The impression that my mother was still with me was very clear. I understood then that the idea of having lost my mother was just an idea. It was obvious in that moment that my mother is always alive in me.

I opened the door and went outside. The entire hillside was bathed in moonlight. It was a hill covered with tea plants, and my hut was set behind the temple halfway up. Walking slowly in the moonlight through the rows of tea plants, I noticed my mother was still with me. She was the moonlight caressing me as she had done so often, very tender, very sweet... wonderful! Each time my feet touched the earth I knew my mother was there with me. I knew this body was not mine but a living continuation of my mother and my father and my grandparents and great-grandparents. Of all my ancestors. Those feet that I saw as "my" feet were actually "our" feet. Together my mother and I were leaving footprints in the damp soil.

From that moment on, the idea that I had lost my mother no longer existed. All I had to do was look at the palm of my hand, feel the breeze on my face or the earth under my feet to remember that my mother is always with me, available at any time.”

I am very blessed to still have my parents still alive and well, and I have the good fortune of being able to speak with them any time I want, Yet I wanted to share this beautiful story because this is how I feel everyday.

Not that I have lost my parents, but that my parents are very much with me in everything I do. Also my grandparents, my brother and sister, my whole family and all my friends. We are all interconnected with one another. With the whole of humanity and all the animals and our beloved planet.

Whatever I do and wherever I go my parents are with me. They reside in my heart.

I can't express in words the gratitude I have for my parents, and I could never share what they have done for me in this blog. Yet I can share a little of how important they have been in my life.

I am 35 years old in June. I don't hold on to guilt, yet everyday I feel so compelled to create peace in this world because of the blessings I have received.

I have had such incredible parents, siblings, friends, wife, son, spiritual teacher, health, happiness and more in my life, how can I just sit back and say "thanks for a great life!"

For me to do that would be selfish. I would be just taking from life. The fact that I have had such a blessed life is what drives me to give back to the world. The love I have had and still get from my parents is overwhelming. It brings me to tears sometimes.

The deeper I go into the teaching of Karma I realise that I have had many good lives with my parents. I vow to always love and look after my parents in any way possible, in this life and in all future lifetimes.

I realise that some people in the world have not had good relationships with their parents. Maybe you are reading this and you had a lot of struggles or pain with your relationship with your parents. For this I am sorry, and I can't relate to your situation fully.

Yet I can share a simple practice that may help heal your relationship.

The practice is again from Thich Nhat Hahn. Do this practice daily.

Visualise yourself as a 5 year old child. Innocent in the world. See how vulnerable you are.

Now visualise your parent (that you have challenges with) as a 5 year old child. Innocent in the world. See how vulnerable he/she is.

By doing this you can understand that your parent may have had the same things happen to them that planted the seed of suffering in their store consciousness.

By doing this practice we introduce "Understanding" which plants the seeds of compassion within us. Then we can forgive. Then we can love, heal and bring light to the relationship.

When you hold these images of your parents you may repeat the words "I forgive you, please forgive me, bring Love peace and Harmony"

This practice can be done with those that have died also.

Right now we are living in a unique time in history. One that all the ancient traditions have pointed to as "the time of change,"

This is a subject I could write about all day but Im not going to. But what I will say is this, "Its so important that we care right now."

Its important that we care for ourselves, our loved ones, humanity, our planet, the animals and the forests and oceans. This time we are in literally is sink or swim, but don't be afraid. It is as simple as caring. Why is caring easy? because its our natural state as human beings. The only reason we may struggle is because of our egos. Our egos have separated us from nature. separated us from our true selves.

So make the effort to care and lead by example and together we can heal the world.

I want to thank my incredible parents from the bottom of my heart.
I owe them everything.

I want to wish my father a very happy birthday, he is 69 years old.

When I see how influential my parents have been in my life I understand how important it is to be a parent. A parent is everything to the child, and still when they are an adult. My parents have inspired me to be the best father I can possibly be to my beautiful son and any more children we may have come into our lives.

I owe you everything mum and Dad, I will do my best to bring peace to this world and share the love you have given me.

We send all the love we have to give

Nick, Danielle and Beau x