Healing family relationships part 2

The Power of taking responsibility.

To understand the power of taking responsibility we must understand the Law of Karma. 
Without a doubt the most significant, important and life changing wisdom I have ever been introduced to is the law of Karma. 

Karma is the record of ones services in this life and past lives. Karma can be slip into good karma and bad karma.
If one has offered good service in this life and past lives such as:
Love, forgiveness, compassion, kindness, sincerity, honesty, humility and more, one will receive blessings.

If one offers negative service in this life and past lives such as:
Killing, Cheating, steeling, taking advantage of others, fighting and more, one will receive lessons.

My spiritual father Master Sha says 

"One way to see your karma is to look at your life. In the areas you are blessed you have offered good service. In the areas you have struggles you have offered negative service"

Growing up in the west, I have always seen how people never like to take responsibility for whatever happens to them.
Personally I feel when people get sick for example they fall into a victim state of "Why me?"
This is not peoples fault. This is simply a lack of spiritual wisdom in the west.

To believe in Karma, one must believe in reincarnation. I was brought up as a catholic and always thought that when you die you go to Heaven and all is good.
But as I got older I was always asking questions, and never getting any answers.
That is why I lost my faith in religion. I understand that religion has served many people and I honour every religion, but it never helped me.

I would always ask questions like:

"why do we stay in heaven forever?... Surly there is somewhere else to go?"

"It doesn't seem fair that people do what they want and just go to heaven"

"Why doesn't anyone practice what Jesus stood for?"
And so on.

So when I found Master Sha (Who by the way I was not looking for. I will share in another post how I found him) I had so many questions. 
What is the soul?
How does reincarnation work?
Why are we here?
What is the purpose of life?
Why do some people have blessed lives and some people struggle all their lives?
What is the difference between the Divine and Tao?
How can we heal ourselves?
How can we heal others?
 My questions went on and on and on.

I have to be honest though, I am very happy that I asked all of those questions because back then I was so strong minded I needed to wrap my head around what was happening in my life, because me and my family where all experiencing negative things happening to us that I could not see with my eyes.

I will share the answers to the questions I had in other posts and YouTube videos. Some of the answers to the questions above are already on my Youtube channel (name of youtube channel is Nicholas Giannasi).

Every teaching I have ever read or heard from Master Sha, or from other spiritual teachers, have all deepened over the years. I know that these teachings will deepen more and more forever.

Me and My wife often speak of how important and life changing it is to understand  Karmic law.
Understanding Karma has changed every aspect of our lives in every way.

Karma allows you to understand that everything that is happening to you, or ever has happened to you, or ever will happen to you, is because of what you have done to others.
This is liberating. This allows one to be completely responsible for their life and anything that happens in it.

Karma has many names. 
Cause and effect, law of attraction, resonance, What goes around comes around and so on.

Many people I speak to still have trouble understanding some aspects of Karma law. I am happy to answer any questions on Karma that any reader has underneath this post.
Karma is a universal law. Just like the law of gravity. If one day you stopped believing in gravity and jumped off the roof of your house you would hit the floor. Whether you believed in gravity or not, or whether you are a good person or not, it doesn't matter. You will still hit the floor.
This is the same for Karma law. Whether you believe it or not it is a universal law.

For the sake of this post I am focusing on healing family relationships. So the struggles you have in your family relationships are a reflection of what you have done to that family member either in this life or past lives. 

This does not mean fall into "Its all my fault."  This would be to fall into the ego, and become a victim for attention.

Everyone in the family needs to stop any blame and look at themselves. As Jesus said:

"Its easier to see a splinter in the eye of another, than to see a log in your own"

Lao Tzu also says in the Tao Te Jing:

"When one blames, there is no end to the blame"

By everybody involved taking 100% responsibility for what is happening in the family, then the family can move on to the next stage.

Understanding Love, Forgiveness, Compassion and light.

Now some people reading this may be trying to heal their family on their own without any commitment from other family members. This is fine. I will share techniques that can heal family relationships that you can do on your own.

Others may be reading this with their family members and are all willing to try and heal the family relationships together. Both are fine. I will share practices to heal family relationships together too.

But first I want to share a little on understanding Love, Forgiveness, compassion and light so we better understand how we can heal.

Understanding Love

Master Sha speaks of Da Ai (greatest love). But what is it?

I read a lot of Osho's work too. I love Osho. He is one of the most honest human beings that has ever walked this earth in my opinion. Many of his teachings are straight to the point and cut through years of mental conditioning.

Osho says:

"The first mistake humans make is separating love. Humans believe there is a love we have for our children, then a different love we have for our parents, our friends, our lovers, God and so on. This is not true. There is only one universal love.
Hate needs reference. Either I hate him because he did this... or I hate him because he will do that.... Hate needs time.
Love has no reference. Love has no time. If your love has reference, It is hate disguised as love. This is why so many relationships are so high then so low. You love someone then they irritate you and you hate them. your love is only skin deep.
If you love because someone is nice to you this is not love. Love is present. Timeless. Eternal. This is the love that the Buddha is talking about. this is the love that Jesus is talking about."

This is a powerful teaching from Osho. This teaching has deepened my understanding of love. It has made me look at myself and the love I experience. I believe this has been such a powerful teaching for me because I have been fortunate enough to spend time with Master Sha and experience first hand a Master who offers the same love as the Buddha or Jesus. 

The Love of a truly enlightened Master is Da Ai. There is no different love for any individual. The Master loves all things the same. This is because the Master is love. 

The nature of the Tao (Tao means "the way" and is the source of heaven and earth. It is the universal principles and laws) is loving. The Tao is supporting and nourishing. The Tao is the universal container for all life. Therefor, it is absolute love. So to meld with the nature of the universe is to embody and align with this universal love, and allow it to shine through you. That is why people feel so much love around a Master because they may never have felt that kind of love before, anywhere.

So if the nature of the universe is loving then the love we experience and offer depends on how aligned we are with that love. With the Tao.

This hopefully helps us to understand Love a little deeper. Ask yourself this question, "Can i love every single person in this world as much as I love my child or my parents?"

When you can do this you have melded with the Tao and you be able to serve the world in ways we can't understand. You will then love everything more than you ever thought possible. Even more than the love you have for your children.

Understanding Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a reflection of Love. For healing family relationships, all involved should make a solid commitment to themselves and to one another to forgive. Forgive yourself and your family members.

Now remember the power of taking responsibility, this means that you shift your point of view from blame for forgiveness.

One insight I have had over the past few months which has deeply moved me, is understanding that there is positives in making mistakes and hurting others. And there is also positives when others hurt us.
In fact, there is beauty in both.

My insight was this:

"We make mistakes so we can experience the beauty of being forgiven.
We get hurt so we can experience the beauty in offering forgiveness."

 Rather than focusing on past mistakes we have made (which we all have) and wishing they never happened, understand why they happened and understand that forgiveness has the power to transcend time!


So now we are taking responsibility for where we are, and we understand that we have caused the pain to others that they are putting us. We can start to ask for forgiveness throughout our day for any pain you have ever caused the family member in this life or past lives. If a family member is hurting you, you ask their soul for forgiveness for any time you have ever done this to them.
Apologise from your heart sincerely.
Then offer them your total forgiveness for any pain they have caused you.

This simple practice is powerful beyond words and comprehension.

Understanding Compassion

Compassion in healing relationships is to take the time to see from the others point of view. Take the time to listen to what your family members have been saying to you and are saying to you right now. See the situation through their eyes and feel their experience. This will allow you to be more patient and understanding.

I heard a story by Gregg Braden when he visited a Buddhist monastery in Tibet. Gregg asked the top Buddhist monk of the temple:

"what connects us to one another, our world and the universe? what is the "stuff"  that connects all things?"

The monk replied:

"compassion"

Later Gregg asked another Monk a follow on question:

"Is compassion a force of creation, or is it an experience?"

The monks answer was:

"It is both"

Compassion is the reason why the great souls from the heavens reincarnate, to help the masses. Compassion is what you feel in your heart when you see others struggle and all you want to do is help. 

Understanding light

Light is the result of applying all of the above. Whether it is Love, Forgiveness or Compassion, they all are one. I heard Master Sha say once:

"Focus on one condition. Either Love, Forgiveness, Compassion or Light. Because when we focus on one we embody them all"

This is because they are all one. In my personal opinion it is incredibly powerful to experience them individually, then through experience we can understand that they are one.

So Light is the result of embodying the conditions of love, forgiveness and compassion. Darkness is a absence of light.

As Osho says:

"Light can extinguish the dark, but darkness cannot extinguish the light. Darkness comes when there is a absence of light."

This brings me to the end of this post. In part 3 I will finish this Healing family relationships post with simple, practical and incredibly powerful meditation practices to help heal family relationships.

I hope this post serves you.

Thank you to my Teacher Master Sha.

All our Love

Nick, Danielle a Beau